What an Awesome Principle

I conducted a Mayoral Debate last year and I had a series of questions the community had for the candidates. However, I perceived one of the numerous questions far outweighed all the others. The question I found superior is this: "Express to this audience the best quality your opponent brings to serving as Mayor of Montclair."

There are reasons I favored this question above the others. I wished I thought of it myself. It made the applicants do something I believe politicians rarely do; it forced them to speak positively about their opponent. Citizens were able to evaluate how familiar each candidate was with the constructive things their challengers did for the public. If any of them refused to answer or was unable to come up with an appropriate response, it would have adversely affected his chances.

This example gives us a good principle to implement when we find ourselves in an argument with a peer, a church member, family member, or a friend. What number of enemies could we reclaim to friendship if we focused on each of their virtues instead of our focal point being their bad ones? If we concentrate on other people's good points, and own up to what actions we did to contribute to the disagreement, we would be much better off in that relationship and in our lives in general.

Last night, I had a dream my older sister was teasing and bullying me as an adult, like I imagine she did when we were children. I woke up angry, bitter, and remembering past hurts I thought I had long forgotten. I recalled this awesome question and I forced myself to think of all my sister's wonderful qualities. I pondered how fortunate I was to have this particular woman as my sister. Remarkably, my whole perspective and mood changed for the better.

How many times do couples argue, centering their attention on what the other did to hurt them? I wonder what would happen if instead of asking children initially, "Why are you mad at your brother/sister?" we ask, "Tell me your brother's/sister's good qualities." Or maybe even better yet, we could ask them to answer this question: "Why do you like having him or her as a brother or sister?"

From my point of view, this would be such a Christ-like question. It would have been the type of inquiry Christ would have directed toward a Scribe or Pharisee. It also falls right in line with what Christ said about conducting a self-examination before finding fault with another (Matthew 7:3;Luke 6:41).

Next time you find yourself about to dissect someone else's character or reputation from an angry and critical point of view, force yourself to only think of their excellent qualities, their outstanding virtues, and their good character qualities. "Express to this audience the best quality your opponent brings to serving as Mayor of Montclair." What an awesome question. What an outstanding example. What an awesome principle to use in our daily lives.

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